Excerpt from Dial C for Chihuahua by Waverly Curtis

Chapter One

Apparently the fad was over. All those actresses and models who thought a miniature dog stuffed into a Versace shoulder bag was so cute were now abandoning their furry “accessories” in record numbers. The Los Angeles shelters were so full of Chihuahuas they had to fly them to other parts of the country. My new pet was one of forty Chihuahuas who had been shipped to Seattle.

At the Humane Society, the Chihuahuas were all in one cage. Most were milling around or throwing themselves at the bars, barking. One dog sat by himself, away from the others. A ray of sunlight fell through the opening high in the cinder block wall and illuminated his white fur.

I knew as soon as I looked into his big, dark eyes that he was mine. He held his head high but he looked forlorn. It was a feeling I could totally understand.

My divorce had just become final. My ex had already bought a new three-bedroom house with his fiancée, while I was scraping by in a one-bedroom condo with his cat. To make things worse, the real estate market was crashing, and my career as a stager was in jeopardy. After suffering through a series of disastrous dates, I decided to adopt a dog. I was in need of some unconditional love.

  

My new pet was quiet during the drive home but he turned into a little white tornado when I set him down on the carpet inside my front door. He raced around the living room, sniffing around the edges of the furniture. Luckily I had locked Albert, the cat, into my bedroom before I went to pick up my new companion.

While he was exploring, I went into the kitchen to set up a water bowl and food dish for him. I opened a small can of Alpo Gourmet, hoping he’d like beef and vegetables with gravy. At the snick of the can opener, he scampered around the corner, his nails clicking across the tile floor, before I could even spoon the food into his dish.

Poor little guy, I thought, he must be terribly hungry. But instead of wolfing down the Alpo, he paused in front of his dish and just stared at it.

Maybe he didn’t like beef and gravy. Maybe he didn’t like vegetables. But I’d been in a hurry to get to the Humane Society before they closed and had just picked up the first can of dog food I saw at Pete’s Market. Maybe I should have bought an assortment of flavors.

I was about to tell my new companion that I’d get him a flavor he liked, when he looked up at me and said, “Muchas gracias.”

“De nada,” I replied as he began gobbling up the food like he hadn’t eaten for a week.

Wait a minute…he couldn’t have spoken to me. And in Spanish, no less. I’d been alone too long. That was it. I was under a lot of stress. I was late with my homeowner’s dues and late with my mortgage payments. I had started looking for work on Craigslist, but so far I wasn’t making much progress. Thirty resumes out, but only one interview. That interview was with the owner of a private detective agency. Jimmy Gerrard had a sleazy appearance, a shabby office, and a weird way of talking about himself in the third person. Still, I was desperate and had tried to convince him I would make a good investigator. I have an eye for detail, I’m a good judge of character, and I speak a little Spanish.

The dog had emptied his food bowl and was licking his lips with his long pink tongue. He looked out toward the living room. “Tu casa es hermosa, muy hermosa.”

“What?” I agreed that my home was pretty, but I didn’t expect to hear it from him.

“Tu casa es mi casa,” he said approvingly. He got it backwards, but I got the point: he felt at home.

He trotted into the living room and started looking around, more slowly this time. I poured myself a glass of Chardonnay and followed him. He seemed to like what he saw, his head bobbing up and down as he poked his nose into the corners. I sank down on my chocolate brown sofa and set my wine glass on the end table. Before I knew it, I had a Chihuahua in my lap. He proceeded to give my crotch a series of vigorous sniffs.

“Stop that,” I scolded.

“I am a dog,” he said. “What can I do?”

I was about to shoo him away, when he lay down in my lap and curled up, snug as a kitten. He was so soft and cuddly, his short fur like warm velvet. His long ears were shell pink where the light shone through them.

I mused aloud, “What shall we call you?”

“My name is Pepe,” he answered in Spanish.

“Pepe?”

“Sí.” He got off my lap and stood on the couch beside me, his huge brown eyes looking directly into mine. “And your name, senorita?” he continued, still speaking Spanish. “How are you called?”

“I’m Geri Sullivan,” I told him.

“Bueno,” he said, with a wagging tail. “I am now, with great pride, Pepe Sullivan.”

I took another sip of my wine. This was too much.

Pepe looked me up and down. “You are muy bonita, Geri!”

I blinked. “Really?” It had been a long time since anyone had complimented me on my appearance.

“Sí! Your dark, curly hair gleams like the wing of a raven. Your lashes are as long and thick as a camel’s. And your curves are as sultry as the Yucatan.”

“Pepe,” I said, “you are quite the flatterer.” Although I was still pondering the comparison to a camel. Was that a compliment?

“I do not flatter,” he said. “I speak only the truth. I can recognize a hot mama when I see one.”

“Well, thank you.” I said. They say dogs are man’s best friend, but this one was definitely woman’s best friend. He made me feel way better than any of the losers I had dated since the divorce.

“Geri,” Pepe asked, “have you any other dogs?”

“No, I don’t.” I said. For some reason, I was reluctant to tell him about Albert. Just as I was reluctant to let Albert know about the dog.

“Buenísimo!” He nodded approvingly. “That makes me el jefe.”

~~~

Dial C for Chihuahua is the first in a series of humorous mystery novels written by Curt Colbert and Waverly Fitzgerald, under the pen name Waverly Curtis. Geri begins working for Jimmy G, the eccentric owner of a detective agency, and Pepe, of course, insists on going along. Soon they stumble upon the corpse of a Microsoft millionaire whose widow owns a lovely Pomeranian named Siren Song.

In the second novel, Chihuahua Confidential, Pepe and Geri travel to Hollywood to perform in a reality TV show called Dancing with Dogs. When Nigel St. Nigel, the judge everyone loves to hate, is found dead, Pepe and Geri are hot on the killer’s heels, while Pepe perfects his dance moves with his Pomeranian lady love.

Add caption

For the third novel, The Big Chihuahua, Geri and Pepe go undercover in a cult that worships an ancient dog warrior spirit named Dogawanda. The cult’s charismatic leader courts Pepe with promises of fame and fortune but Pepe and Geri are more concerned with figuring out who is killing her devotees. You can learn more about Pepe and his adventures at our web site. 

More from Waverly Curtis on Writers & Other Animals

•  When Animals Speak
• Author Interview with Waverly Curtis

Author Interview with Waverly Curtis

Tell us a little about your background:

We’re actually a writing team: Curt Colbert, author of three hard-boiled private eye novels set in Seattle in the 1940s (Rat City, Sayonaraville and Queer Street) and Waverly Fitzgerald, author of four historical romances published by Doubleday in the 1980’s under the name Nancy Fitzgerald. We’ve known each other for over 20 years. Waverly coached Curt through the writing of his first three books. When she began writing mysteries herself, we began meeting weekly to share our latest writing. When Curt showed up with a first chapter that featured a talking Chihuahua, Waverly offered to collaborate (since she was actually living with the Chihuahua that inspired the book) and we’ve written four books and one short story together since then.

Tell us a bit about your latest book:

We just finished the third book in our series of Barking Detective series for Kensington. It’s called The Big Chihuahua. In this book, Pepe and his owner, Geri Sullivan, a PI in training, go undercover in a cult that worships an ancient warrior dog known as Dogawanda.

Are any of the other characters based on real animals or people?

Yes, Waverly’s daughter, Shaw, has a little white Chihuahua named Pepe who inspired the character in the novels. Like his namesake character, Pepe hates being dressed up and thinks he is much bigger than he is. Unlike his namesake, he has a sweet disposition and doesn’t talk much.

How do you “get to know” your characters before and while you’re writing the books?

While Waverly has been known to create elaborate biographies and Excel spreadsheets charting the significant life events of the characters, Curt is more inclined to put characters into interesting situations and see what they do.

How do you construct your plots? Do you outline or do you write “by the seat of your pants”?

We have a vague idea when we start a book about where it will end but we don’t outline. We try to experience the plot the way a reader would, which means we don’t usually know who the killer is until about two-thirds of the way through. Since we take turns writing chapters, we also get to be surprised by what the other person has written.

Which do you consider more important, plot or character?

In a mystery, plot is key since readers expect certain elements: a dead body, for instance, multiple suspects, and a confrontation with the killer where the protagonist is in some actual danger. That said, the characters are very real to us, even the really silly ones, and we miss them when the book is done.

What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced as a writer and what inspires you and keeps you motivated?

Rejection is difficult. We’ve both experienced moments when we were told our books were not marketable and we’ve both had promising opportunities (a big name New York agent, publication by a remarkable small press) that have not panned out. But neither of us can imagine not writing and both of us have many more novels we want to write.

What are you working on now and what are your future writing plans?

We’re currently writing the fifth book in the Barking Detective series, tentatively called The Silence of the Chihuahua. In this book, Pepe, the talking Chihuahua, suddenly stops talking which is very distressing to Geri Sullivan who’s counting on him to help her figure out what happened to her best friend who’s implicated in a murder.

What is a typical workday for you and how many hours a day (or week) do you devote to writing?

We aim for about a chapter a week, however long that takes. My guess would be about 10 hours a week, which isn’t that much. Waverly usually edits while Curt is writing. Not sure what Curt does while Waverly is writing.

Tell us about your pets, or other animals that inspire you.

Curt and his wife are in thrall to their cat Esmeralda. But the cat in the Barking Detective novels, Albert, is a tribute to their previous cat, Albert, who looked like and acted like a bobcat. Waverly lives with her daughter and her daughter’s Chihuahua, Pepe. Their previous dog, Chester, was affectionately nicknamed The Demon Dog from Hell.

What question do you wish interviewers would ask? (And what’s the answer?)

What would you say to anyone considering collaborating? Our collaboration works well because we have known each other as writers for so long. It helps that Curt will let Waverly edit his words, while she is a bit more possessive about hers. We do have a written collaboration agreement (very important) and a commitment to have a united front when communicating with agents and editors (lessons Waverly learned in a previous collaboration that went south). We love it that we have someone to brainstorm with and to share the work. The downside is that we have double the expenses and only half the income of a solo author.

Where can we learn more about you and your books?

Our books are available from Kensington (our publisher), Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books and Million and Indie Bound, as well as your favorite local independent book store. For more information on our books and events, visit our website.

Read more from Waverly Fitzgerald (Curtis) ~ 

• When Animals Speak 
• Come back for more on December 3 ~ better yet, sign up for email updates from Writers & Other Animals!