Straight from the Parrot’s Mouth

by Lois Winston

Greetings! My name is Ralph. I’m an African Grey parrot, the most intelligent of the species. Anastasia Pollack’s great-aunt Penelope Periwinkle willed me to Anastasia. Penelope was a professor of Shakespearian literature, and I’d regularly accompany her to class. After decades of sitting in on her lectures, I became somewhat of a Bard scholar myself.

I’m also the only pet that truly belongs in the Pollack home. The other two are deadbeat interlopers. Catherine the Great is a corpulent white Persian cat owned by Anastasia’s mother, Flora Sudberry Periwinkle Ramirez Scoffield Goldberg O’Keefe Tuttnauer. Flora claims to descend from Russian nobility on her mother’s side and is a proud Daughter of the American Revolution.

Unfortunately, Flora has had some rather rotten luck when it comes to husbands. Aside from her first husband, Anastasia’s father, who drowned while scuba diving off the Yucatan on their twenty-fifth anniversary, all of Flora’s subsequent husbands have met with untimely deaths shortly after the weddings. When Flora is between husbands, she and her nasty fur ball move in with Anastasia and her family. Luckily, Flora’s latest husband survived the honeymoon, and she and fur ball now live elsewhere. I’m keeping my beak crossed for a long, happy marriage.  

Then there’s Mephisto the Devil Dog. His real name is Manifesto, but who names a French bulldog after a communist treatise? Only Anastasia’s communist mother-in-law, that’s who! Unfortunately, we’re stuck with him and his Bolshevik owner because, quite frankly, Lucille Pollack is an idiot. Last year an SUV ran her down as she jaywalked across a busy intersection. While recovering in the hospital, her apartment building burnt to the ground. Since she doesn’t trust the government and by extension, the banking system, she kept her life savings in shoeboxes under her bed.

After a stint in rehab, she and her mutt moved in with Anastasia and her family to finish her recovery. Anastasia’s husband had promised to foot the bill for a new apartment for his mother, but then he dropped dead in Las Vegas when Anastasia thought he was at a sales meeting in Harrisburg, PA. And that wasn’t the worst of it. Seems Karl Marx Pollack had a hidden gambling problem that left Anastasia not only with debt equal to the GNP of Uzbekistan but also with Lucille and Mephisto.

Anyway, Mephisto and Catherine the Great get along as well as capitalists and communists—or Flora and Lucille. In other words, they fight like cats and dogs, as does Flora and Lucille. I usually sit atop the bookcase and offer play-by-play. Chaos usually rules in Casa Pollack.

And then there are the dead bodies. Did I mention the dead bodies? They’re popping up all over the neighborhood lately.

A Stitch to Die For

An Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery, Book 5

The adventures of reluctant amateur sleuth Anastasia Pollack continue in A Stitch to Die For, the 5th book in the Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series by USA Today bestselling author Lois Winston.

Ever since her husband died and left her in debt equal to the gross national product of Uzbekistan, magazine crafts editor and reluctant amateur sleuth Anastasia Pollack has stumbled across one dead body after another—but always in work-related settings. When a killer targets the elderly nasty neighbor who lives across the street from her, murder strikes too close to home. Couple that with a series of unsettling events days before Halloween, and Anastasia begins to wonder if someone is sending her a deadly message.

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USA Today bestselling and award-winning author Lois Winston writes mystery, romance, romantic suspense, chick lit, women’s fiction, children’s chapter books, and non-fiction under her own name and her Emma Carlyle pen name. Kirkus Reviews dubbed her critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series, “North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum.” In addition, Lois is an award-winning craft and needlework designer who often draws much of her source material for both her characters and plots from her experiences in the crafts industry. Visit Lois/Emma at www.loiswinston.com and Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog, www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. Follow everyone on Tsu at www.tsu.co/loiswinston, on Pinterest at www.pinterest.com/anasleuth, and onTwitter @anasleuth. Sign up here for hernewsletter. 

Animals Having Their Say by Author Lois Winston

I’ve always been fascinated by the ability of animals to communicate with each other and even more so with humans. It seems logical that animals would have some way of communicating within their own species. We constantly see examples of them working together, and in order to do this, they must have some way of communicating with each other.

 

For example, all you have to do is observe a flock of birds flying in “V” formation. Watch as the leader slips back to allow another bird to take the lead. How do they designate the next bird to fly point? Instinct? I don’t think so. They must be communicating in some way. Otherwise chaos would ensue with birds constantly flying into one another.

We know that dolphins speak to each other. Whales, too. None of this is new. However, the other day I stumbled upon a news clip that claimed chimpanzees speak with accents. Not only that but these accents are learned.

Five years ago nine chimps were moved from The Netherlands to the Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland. The chimps originally used a high-pitched noise to ask for apples. However, after living with the Scottish chimps for a while, the Dutch chimps began to use a low grunt to ask for apples, the same sound made by the Scottish chimps. If you’d like to hear the difference between a chimp with a Dutch accent and one with a Scottish accent, you can view the video at http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/find-chimp-scottish-accent-sounds-28804416.

I often include animals in my mysteries and romances. In my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series Anastasia shares her home with a communist French bulldog, a Persian cat named for Russian nobility, and a Shakespeare-spouting African Grey parrot. They all communicate in their own unique ways.

In my romantic comedy Hooking Mr. Right, one of the secondary characters is a matchmaking alley cat named Cupid. He, too, has a very unique way of communicating with the humans in the story.

I’ve read mysteries and romances where the authors have assigned points of view to the pets in the books. I’ve never gone that far, probably because doing so would move me from writing reality-based fiction into the realm of fantasy. Even so, the animals in my books definitely have their say.

Hooking Mr. Right

Can a butt-ugly alley cat named Cupid bring together two people driven apart by secrets and lies?

After writing a doctoral thesis that exposed fraud in the pop-psychology genre, thirty-two year old professor Althea Chandler sacrifices her professional integrity to save her family from financial disaster. She secretly becomes best-selling romance guru Dr. Trulee Lovejoy, self-proclaimed expert on how to catch a man, even though Thea's a miserable failure when it comes to relationships -- especially those with the opposite sex.

Burned by a failed marriage, Luke Bennett finds himself pursued by Dr. Lovejoy toting women after a gossip columnist dubs him New York's most eligible bachelor. When he at first mistakes Thea for one of the women out to snare him, sparks fly, but the two soon find themselves battling sparks of a less hostile nature, thanks in part to that alley cat.

Luke believes he's finally found an honest woman. Unfortunately, Thea is anything but honest. She's got more secrets than the CIA and a desperate gossip columnist out to expose her. Cupid definitely has his work cut out for him.

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USA Today bestselling and award-winning author Lois Winston writes mystery, romance, romantic suspense, chick lit, women’s fiction, children’s chapter books, and non-fiction under her own name and her Emma Carlyle pen name. Kirkus Reviews dubbed her critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series, “North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum.” In addition, Lois is an award-winning craft and needlework designer who often draws much of her source material for both her characters and plots from her experiences in the crafts industry. Visit Lois/Emma at www.loiswinston.com and Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog, www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. Follow everyone on Tsu at www.tsu.co/loiswinston, on Pinterest at www.pinterest.com/anasleuth, and onTwitter @anasleuth.

A Cat by Any Other Name

by Lois Winston

Shortly after my husband and I became a couple, a stray cat wandered onto our friends’ property and gave birth to a litter of kittens. When Mama Cat subsequently lost her life to a speeding car, we became the proud adoptive parents of two kittens from that litter. We named one Bulldog McNurkle and the other Grayface. For the life of me, I can’t remember the reason behind the names. Stranger still, Grayface somehow morphed into Frog.

Like all babies, no matter the species, kittens are not born with fully developed motor skills. This fact was made clear to me one day while I was taking a bath. Frog nosed open the bathroom door, jumped up onto the tub ledge, and proceeded to lose his footing, falling into the water. Before I could scoop him up, he used my back as a ladder to climb his way out. I think I still have scars from his claws.

While still kittens, one of Bulldog’s and Frog’s favorite pastimes was to race across the living room, take a flying leap, and claw up our drapes. One day my husband and I came home from work to find the drapes in shreds. The cats had grown too heavy for the fabric to support their weight.

Another time we arrived home to find defrosted pork chops sitting on the living room floor. Because we had a galley kitchen open to the living room, I used to put frozen food in the spare bedroom to defrost. On that particular day, I apparently hadn’t made sure the door was securely latched. You’d think I would have learned my lesson after the bathtub incident.

Unfortunately, after several years of progressively worsening allergies that eventually caused me to develop bronchial asthma, we found it necessary to find new parents for our boys. Cats haven’t been part of our family for many years, yet they often play a role – usually a comical one – in my fiction.

In my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series, my protagonist’s much-married mother claims to descend from Russian royalty. Her extremely corpulent white Persian cat is named Catherine the Great. And believe me, she’s every inch the reincarnation of her namesake – proud, regal, demanding, and not one to suffer fools – or dogs – lightly. This causes all sorts of mayhem in the Pollack household where Mama is forced to share a bedroom with Anastasia’s communist mother-in-law and her dog, aptly named Manifesto. Catherine the Great and Manifesto get along as well as their two owners. In other words, they fight like...well, like cats and dogs. Or Russian royalty and Bolsheviks.

You’ll find Catherine the Great strutting her stuff in all four of the Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries – Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun, Death by Killer Mop Doll, Revenge of the Crafty Corpse, and Decoupage Can Be Deadly.

In Hooking Mr. Right, a romantic comedy I wrote under my Emma Carlyle pen name, you’ll find Cu (short for Cupid,) a punk-rock looking alley cat.

After writing a doctoral thesis that exposed fraud in the pop-psychology genre, thirty-two year old professor Althea Chandler has to sacrifice her professional integrity to save her family from financial disaster. She secretly becomes best-selling romance guru Dr. Trulee Lovejoy, a self-proclaimed expert on how to catch a man, even though Thea’s a miserable failure when it comes to relationships – especially those with the opposite sex.

Burned by a failed marriage, Luke Bennett finds himself pursued by Dr. Lovejoy toting women after a gossip columnist dubs him New York’s most eligible bachelor. When he at first mistakes Thea for one of the women out to snare him, sparks fly, but the two soon find themselves battling sparks of a less hostile nature, thanks in part to the aforementioned alley cat.

Luke believes he’s finally found an honest woman. Unfortunately, Thea is anything but honest. She’s got more secrets than the CIA and a desperate gossip columnist out to expose her. Cupid definitely has his work cut out for him, but like all cats, he’s got a mind of his own. And he’s not about to let human stubbornness stand in the way of a happy ending.

Award-winning author Lois Winston writes the critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series featuring magazine crafts editor and reluctant amateur sleuth Anastasia Pollack. She’s also published in women’s fiction, romance, romantic suspense, and non-fiction under her own name and her Emma Carlyle pen name. Lois is also an award-winning crafts and needlework designer and an agent with the Ashley Grayson Literary Agency. Visit her at http://www.loiswinston.com, visit Emma at http://www.emmacarlyle.com, and visit Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers character blog, www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com.

Doggy Lit

by Lois Winston

Over the last few years there have been many sub-genres of lit-fic cropping up. It started back in the late nineties with an onslaught of chick lit. These were stories not about furry yellow-beaked farm critters but about twenty-somethings with jobs they hated, serial bad dates, a tendency to indulge in too many margaritas, and an obsession with designer shoes and handbags. Chick lit led to lady lit, lad lit, mom lit, hen lit, boomer lit, and geezer lit.

And now we have doggie lit. I’ve noticed over the last few years that no matter the genre, whether romance or mystery or straight fiction, a huge percentage of books have dogs in them. It’s not just that the protagonist has a pet pooch. These dogs are becoming major secondary characters in many books. Sometimes they even have a point of view in the story.

I’m not sure how I feel about giving a point of view to a pet, but I do like the trend of making dogs in books more than just window dressing or a convenient way to get a character from Point A to Point B.  (Dogs do have to be walked several times a day.) If done well, dogs can add quite a bit of texture and color to the story because they have distinct personalities.

In my Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series, Anastasia’s mother-in-law Lucille, a die-hard nineteen-fifties style commie, owns a French Bulldog she calls Manifesto (after the communist treatise.) Everyone else calls him Mephisto or Devil Dog. He’s got that kind of personality. Since the best stories always have characters who are polar opposites, thus creating conflict, I’ve given Manifesto his own nemesis, a corpulent white Persian by the name of Catherine the Great.

Catherine the Great belongs to Anastasia’s mother Flora, a former social secretary of the Daughters of the American Revolution. Lucille, Manifesto, Flora, and Catherine the Great all live with Anastasia, her two teenage sons, and their pet parrot in a small suburban rancher where Lucille and Flora (and therefore Manifesto and Catherine the Great) are forced to share a bedroom. Not only do Flora and Lucille fight like cats and dogs, but so do their cat and dog. Conflict, conflict, conflict—the basis for all good stories, right?

Another component of a good stories is character growth. So I wondered, why should that growth be limited to the two-legged characters in a story? Revenge of the Crafty Corpse, the third book in my series, presented the perfect opportunity to delve into this subject. Because Lucille is in a rehab center convalescing from surgery, the rest of the family must care for Manifesto. The results are quite surprising, but I won’t spoil the fun for you. You’ll just have to read the book to find out for yourself.

Revenge of the Crafty Corpse

Anastasia Pollack’s dead louse of a spouse has left her with more bills than you can shake a crochet hook at, and teaching craft classes at her mother-in-law’s assisted living center seems like a harmless way to supplement her meager income. But when Lyndella Wegner—a 98-year-old know-it-all with a penchant for ruffles and lace—turns up dead, Anastasia’s cantankerous mother-in-law becomes the prime suspect in her murder. Upon discovering that Lyndella’s scandalous craft projects—and her scandalous behavior—made her plenty of enemies, Anastasia sets out to find the real killer before her mother-in-law ends up behind bars.  

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Award-winning author Lois Winston writes the critically acclaimed Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mystery series featuring magazine crafts editor and reluctant amateur sleuth Anastasia Pollack. Assault With a Deadly Glue Gun, the first book in the series, received starred reviews from both Publishers Weekly and Booklist. Kirkus Reviews dubbed it, “North Jersey’s more mature answer to Stephanie Plum.” Other books in the series includes Death By Killer Mop Doll, Revenge of the Crafty Corpse, Decoupage Can Be Deadly and the ebook only mini-mysteries Crewel Intentions and Mosaic Mayhem.

Lois is also published in women’s fiction, romance, romantic suspense, and non-fiction under her own name and her Emma Carlyle pen name. In addition, she’s a literary agent and an award-winning craft and needlework designer. She often draws much of her source material for both her characters and plots from her experiences in the crafts industry.

Visit Lois at www.loiswinston.com, visit Emma at www.emmacarlyle.com, and visit Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog, www.anastasiapollack.blogspot.com. Follow everyone on Twitter @anasleuth.

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Coming Wednesday....author Kaye George on researching the mega fauna of North America for her Neanderthal mystery series. (If you sign up at the right to follow this blog, you won't miss a thing!)

- Sheila